Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
