i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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