one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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