she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
