Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
