So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
