bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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