Please, let me fuck your mom
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize