It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
