and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize