I skipped work to stalk him.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
