Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
