I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
