I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
she woke up with a sticky ear
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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