I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
