they need to just BURY HIM!
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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