I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
