I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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