Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
