The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
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