Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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