she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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