Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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