oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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