Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
