dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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