we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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