You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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