the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
