Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize