Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
