We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
