Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
