whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Randomize
