I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
