Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
