We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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