I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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