I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
