I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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