I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
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So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
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He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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