But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
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