"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
