so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
