And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
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