check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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