Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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