I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize