sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
