where does the pee come out of this thing
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
