I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
