I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
i believe in u and ur pee
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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