You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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