I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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