Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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