i would punch a child for taco bell
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
