Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize