Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm passing your future prison.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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