i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
