im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
