the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
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Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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