on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
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Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
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Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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