It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
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