3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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