Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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