you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
