I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
