I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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