New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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