Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
im holly from the hills drunk
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just send me my own nude
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize