I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Randomize
