Heybabeimwearingurpanties
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
